So it's PAL day! The happiest day for letterboxers because shiny new boxes show up for us to find... well during my day planting - I was brought back to reality while trying to plant my PAL day box.
When Teacup and I were in Vermont, we stopped into a cemetery and watched an older gentleman meander the rows of a cemetery, placing flags at the stones of veterans. We watched him - kept him in our vision as we were trying to pick up a series planted in that cemetery. But we both mentioned what an honor it was to see those pristine new flags waving valiantly at those that served our country in its defense.
We took a moment to chat with him - we even offered to help him finish the cemetery - to which he politely declined our offer. He obviously had a system - which we would have messed up - but more importantly - after talking to another man doing the same yesterday - I realized - we probably would have taken a piece of his way to pay his respects to each fallen comrade he visited.
We wanted to hug him, help him - but he moved along and so did we. But yesterday - I had a chance to chat with another Veteran who was also laying flags at stones. He had been doing it since 1949! He told me - that when he started - there were about 200 flags that he placed flags at in the cemetery we were in. This year he was placing more that 1000! He was holding one of the veteran flag holders in his hand and we were talking about those as well.
He told me that about five years ago close to 500 of them had been stolen from the cemetery - the person was taking them to be melted down for the metal in them. So now, when they had to replace them - they got a plastic composite one instead. Stealing a veterans marker out of a cemetery is a federal crime - yet it happens all the time. And it's sad - profoundly disturbing to think that a person thinks that melting down those markers for quick cash is remotely more important that what that marker stands for. That veteran did his or her service to our country, to defend our rights and its a silent symbol that shows just a minute amount of respect they deserve for their service.
So while it's PAL day... and folks are out planting and making happy listings, take the time to respect that which is around you. Whether its a cemetery or a trail - someone has done some sort of service to create a space where we can go out and plant a box - to enjoy our country and our hobby. I still want to find that veteran from yesterday - who again turned down my offer of assistance. He had his list - and he was going to diligently crossing those names off - replacing those markers that were missing, straightening those up that suffered over the winter's weather - and silently paying a respectful prayer at each site. I just want to once again - tell him thank you for what he was doing yesterday - and for the service he did four our country in the 1940's. And give him a big hug.
Tuesday, May 24, 2016
Tuesday, May 17, 2016
Team MudCup takes on Vermont - Day One
So let me start by saying - we had been plotting and planning this trip for weeks. It all started a year ago when I realized Friday the 13th was in May. The perfect time for me to plot a weekend adventure - if I had someone to join me :) Last year on Friday the 13th - I spent it on an island with my daughter planting 3 series in the rain. It was fabulous... but this was going to be better.
I proposed my idea to Teacup - and she gave me that look. If you've ever met her - you know the look. The one that says "Are you freaking out of your mind???" "You want me to do what???" "You know that's NOT in Maine, right???" You know - THAT look. But the one thing Teacup does really well is be a supportive friend. Even when that friend makes her do things she really doesn't want to do (get in a speed boat driven by a crazy person, help plan events when she has to meet all sorts of new people and go over the border to other states.) So after I got the "You REALLY want to do that?" question a couple of times, with a great big sigh - she resigned herself to the mercy of being my partner in crime as we tackled - VERMONT!
Now mind you - going over the border is a BIG deal for Teacup... each time we've resigned ourselves that the need was there to cross the border - there are a few rituals we must observe. One: the state Gazetteer must be purchased. Because I don't care how much you all rely on those gps gadgets - ours usually leads us to a path along a long dirt dead end at some point. The map is golden and has gotten us out of many misdirected gps advice. Two: clues, clues, and more clues are printed. While I usually like to spare the trees - for an epic adventure - proper amount of paper/ink must be spent in order to plan the perfect trip (with at least 100 more boxes printed than humanly possible to achieve - just to be on the safe side.) Three: planning meetings. Many, many, many planning meetings... in the car, at the bar, along the trail and in the kitchen... via e-mail, via phone calls and messages written in the sky! LOTS of meetings - usually each starting with, can we add this? Four: deciding where or what we want to plant. Because we try to be good stewards to areas we visit. You plant for us to bring us there - so we try to leave a thank you or two or fifteen along our journey.
So we prepped, we plotted, we planned. Teacup mapped out our boxes (on our gazetteer of course with post-it flags for every box!), our routes (in multiple colors because we changed our route a couple times) and had a detailed timeline. We gathered our clothes (extra socks and shoes a must), pulled together trail magic supplies, had a bag full of boxes to plant and a bag full of HH's to add to boxes. We had snacks and water. We had phones charged (with numbers of our Vermont buddies on speed dial in case we needed bail money) and fill the car's tank up with gas. We were READY! Now bring on Friday the 13th!
Friday morning I picked up Teacup at 5am sharp. Not wanting to loose a moment - we had everything placed in the car in the perfect order - things needed immediately in reach, trash bag ready for the empty sweet tea and coffee cups. The gps plugged in and our first location added (after we added Vermont as a state - LOL.) We knew we had a long drive in our future - so off headed to South Portland. We were going to get a mug-up at IHOP to make sure we'd last that first 100+ miles before our first ink.
We pulled into IHOP - and it wasn't open??!!?? WTF? Didn't they get the memo that it was the start of our epic journey??? Well damn. Barely out of the driveway and we've already had a change in our plans... not to be defeated early - we adjusted. Dunkin to the rescue (should have just grabbed it in Brunswick to begin with!). So with coffee and hot tea in hand - muffins in the bags - we set out once more. (Please note, first of many, many uncharted, unplanned, unplotted u-turns in our future.) We headed west, we headed north, we headed north west. We crossed the first state line and a shudder of goodbye to Maine could be felt in the passenger's seat. (Mind you - normally Teacup drives and I navigate. But we were heading in to much farther uncharted territory - and realistically - I didn't want Teacup's car just up and stopping at the border - so I offered to drive this time.) We continued along. Stopped for a coffee refill and to make sure those left at home had managed to get up and go to work/school without us. (Because truly we know they can't survive without us, right!)
We chugged, we churned. Teacup gripped the map, the folder of clues and her notes in a death grip - until out of nowhere came what would turn into our trip's chant. Teacup randomly said "Look! Dead people. Can I get an Amen!" To which we both raised our hands in the air and said rather boisterously 'AMEN!" With that - we knew we were going to have a fabulously foolishly mis-adventurously epic weekend! The next state border sneaked up on us... and before we knew it we were heading off to our first box.
St. Johnsbury welcomed us and we visited the "First Normal School." It was still early - and we had to get into our boxing groove. The bugs were out in force to greet us as well. After taking the time to do some much needed clean up - we picked up the image and moved along. Our next stop was one that made the cut, then was cut, then added back to the list of potential stops during our planning trip. In the end we were very glad we ended up stopping to visit Pom Pom on Dog Mountain. Now mind you - both members of Team MudCup are cat owners - not dog owners. But we can appreciate the love of ones animal. And this location is truly an amazing tribute to man's best friends - be them dogs, cats, horses or ferrets. We climbed the mountain and spied a big blue bird swinging in the tree. Further up a flying dog angel heading over the local fire hydrant. And of course - our first wonderful view of the green mountain state. After inking up - back down to visit the chapel. In awe - we stepped into the chapel and were floored by what we found. After taking the time to appreciate our surroundings, Teacup left her own tribute to a departed family friend before heading off to the gift shop. And our first encounter with those friendly and chatty locals. We enjoyed the art, Teacup picked up a couple gifts for her Toys for Tots stash and we moved along.
Landing in St. Johnsbury we just had to stop at the Maple Syrup museum (one of 5 we ended up seeing along our trip) to start our debauchery. We originally drove past this location - but turned around as an evil plot formed in our minds. We pulled into the strange little parking areas, looked into the 'museum building' and Teacup ducked into the gift shop to distract anyone inside while I tucked a box in the area. The stamp image - Maine Maple Syrup, of course! We laughed like fools at our foolish little coupe as we looked around and picked up a few tidbits in the gift shop. Maple candy, maple tea and partook of a few free sample (bring on our first sampling of the day - not to mention an instant sugar RUSH!)
Looking at our watch - we were happily ahead of schedule and headed off in search of our first tour. Cabot Creamery greeted us along with a persistent shower. We donned our blue booties, watched the informational video and then followed our tour guide on the quick factory tour. They have some wonderful murals in their factory for you to enjoy as you stroll through. A definite must tour for a cheese lover - after ditching our booties we saddled up to the cheese bar. We nibble, we nibbled some more, we tried all the cheese flavors (my favorite was the Alpine Cheddar) and tasted the honey Greek yogurt (not yet in stores) and popped a handful of cheese covered popcorn in our mouths. More nibbles of those cheesey tidbits - new toothpicks for each sample, please. And we opted to head along... we found out that we could pick up our not in all stores flavor pretty locally to us... Portland has a Cabot 'outlet' store in the Old Port. Who knew??? Not us. Go figure!
We wanted to plant at the factory - but there just wasn't a viable location. So we headed back to our main travel route. And low and behold "Can I get an Amen! AMEN" Dead people gave us an option to plant a cheese little mouse. With two plants under our belt, we were beginning to get on a roll. Consulting the map and the 7-page list, we headed off to the location from which the whole weekend had been planned. Hope Cemetery in Barre, Vermont. Destination central on a Friday the 13th! Where else would a letterboxer want to be on Friday the 13th but in a cemetery - and an epic one is even better. This cemetery is home to some incredible monuments. Stone carved into soccer balls, planes, cars, people in beds and other amazing works of stonemanship. We picked up the images we could find in the series and came up with a loss for another in the same location. The rain was getting heavier, and we started to hear the rumblings of thunder rolling around us. Time to move along....
Next stop - another epic must have in a Vermont trip - Ben & Jerry's. We went inside and did the tour, sampled ice cream - and much to Teacup horror - opted to pass on buying more ice cream. The lines were crazy and the rain was getting heavier. We need to get those inky boxes waiting for us. The first 2 were easy pickings - though they both required trail magic as they hadn't weathered the winter and the logbooks were a complete loss. We moved on to another one in the parking lot before heading off to the Flavor Graveyard. Final resting place of those dearly departed flavors. ***A moment of silence for your favorite flavor that is no more - mine being White Russian with Buzz *** Heads bowed and umbrellas held high - we entered the hollowed grounds... okay - it's a flavor graveyard... so we found our required 'stones' and got our bearings on where we needed to find more ink. And wouldn't you know it... muggles. Don't they know it's raining??? So we waited them out in the car - umbrellas at the ready to replant when they had their backs turned and umbrellas blocking our actions.
We had another a few other places on our list - places we thought might be interesting. So up our first dirt mountain road we headed to visit the Crash at Camel's Hump. Really?? People live on this road? They have to take a walking bridge to get to their house? And it's probably the very last road plowed in the winter... probably another reason why everyone we passed with local plates was driving a 4-wheel drive! Up, up, up. Corners, turns, bumps in the roads. We made it to the top - and couldn't figure out where to start... due to the rain - the daylight was waning - we opted to head back down the hill before the rain washed us down the hill. Green Mountain coffee called to us from a local train station... or at least that's what we thought we heard. By the time we got there though - it was closed :(
By this time - it was getting darker, the rain was getting heavier and we had an hours drive to our hotel. One whole town just got axed from our trip! Off we headed to Burlington. The fog was hanging in the mountains like it was tucked in pockets of a shirt. Whale tails drifted past us in the fog. By the time we made it to our hotel - we were ready to have a bit of a rest (and a cocktail!) We dropped our stuff and headed across the street for a late night dinner. And it was YUMMY! The asiago cheese sticks were perfect and the portions HUGE! After a day of dietary blockage - we opted for cleansing cocktails - high on cranberry juice and champagne. It's amazing how happy a cocktail after a long day can make one. We ambled back to our room and said good night to our guardian mother bird. Showers and tucked in for the night - Teacup and I adjusted our plans... we couldn't complete cut out Stowe... a new plan ready to go... we said goodnight to Vermont and thanked them for a fabulous first day! Join us tomorrow for day two's adventures.
I proposed my idea to Teacup - and she gave me that look. If you've ever met her - you know the look. The one that says "Are you freaking out of your mind???" "You want me to do what???" "You know that's NOT in Maine, right???" You know - THAT look. But the one thing Teacup does really well is be a supportive friend. Even when that friend makes her do things she really doesn't want to do (get in a speed boat driven by a crazy person, help plan events when she has to meet all sorts of new people and go over the border to other states.) So after I got the "You REALLY want to do that?" question a couple of times, with a great big sigh - she resigned herself to the mercy of being my partner in crime as we tackled - VERMONT!
Now mind you - going over the border is a BIG deal for Teacup... each time we've resigned ourselves that the need was there to cross the border - there are a few rituals we must observe. One: the state Gazetteer must be purchased. Because I don't care how much you all rely on those gps gadgets - ours usually leads us to a path along a long dirt dead end at some point. The map is golden and has gotten us out of many misdirected gps advice. Two: clues, clues, and more clues are printed. While I usually like to spare the trees - for an epic adventure - proper amount of paper/ink must be spent in order to plan the perfect trip (with at least 100 more boxes printed than humanly possible to achieve - just to be on the safe side.) Three: planning meetings. Many, many, many planning meetings... in the car, at the bar, along the trail and in the kitchen... via e-mail, via phone calls and messages written in the sky! LOTS of meetings - usually each starting with, can we add this? Four: deciding where or what we want to plant. Because we try to be good stewards to areas we visit. You plant for us to bring us there - so we try to leave a thank you or two or fifteen along our journey.
So we prepped, we plotted, we planned. Teacup mapped out our boxes (on our gazetteer of course with post-it flags for every box!), our routes (in multiple colors because we changed our route a couple times) and had a detailed timeline. We gathered our clothes (extra socks and shoes a must), pulled together trail magic supplies, had a bag full of boxes to plant and a bag full of HH's to add to boxes. We had snacks and water. We had phones charged (with numbers of our Vermont buddies on speed dial in case we needed bail money) and fill the car's tank up with gas. We were READY! Now bring on Friday the 13th!
Friday morning I picked up Teacup at 5am sharp. Not wanting to loose a moment - we had everything placed in the car in the perfect order - things needed immediately in reach, trash bag ready for the empty sweet tea and coffee cups. The gps plugged in and our first location added (after we added Vermont as a state - LOL.) We knew we had a long drive in our future - so off headed to South Portland. We were going to get a mug-up at IHOP to make sure we'd last that first 100+ miles before our first ink.
We pulled into IHOP - and it wasn't open??!!?? WTF? Didn't they get the memo that it was the start of our epic journey??? Well damn. Barely out of the driveway and we've already had a change in our plans... not to be defeated early - we adjusted. Dunkin to the rescue (should have just grabbed it in Brunswick to begin with!). So with coffee and hot tea in hand - muffins in the bags - we set out once more. (Please note, first of many, many uncharted, unplanned, unplotted u-turns in our future.) We headed west, we headed north, we headed north west. We crossed the first state line and a shudder of goodbye to Maine could be felt in the passenger's seat. (Mind you - normally Teacup drives and I navigate. But we were heading in to much farther uncharted territory - and realistically - I didn't want Teacup's car just up and stopping at the border - so I offered to drive this time.) We continued along. Stopped for a coffee refill and to make sure those left at home had managed to get up and go to work/school without us. (Because truly we know they can't survive without us, right!)
We chugged, we churned. Teacup gripped the map, the folder of clues and her notes in a death grip - until out of nowhere came what would turn into our trip's chant. Teacup randomly said "Look! Dead people. Can I get an Amen!" To which we both raised our hands in the air and said rather boisterously 'AMEN!" With that - we knew we were going to have a fabulously foolishly mis-adventurously epic weekend! The next state border sneaked up on us... and before we knew it we were heading off to our first box.
St. Johnsbury welcomed us and we visited the "First Normal School." It was still early - and we had to get into our boxing groove. The bugs were out in force to greet us as well. After taking the time to do some much needed clean up - we picked up the image and moved along. Our next stop was one that made the cut, then was cut, then added back to the list of potential stops during our planning trip. In the end we were very glad we ended up stopping to visit Pom Pom on Dog Mountain. Now mind you - both members of Team MudCup are cat owners - not dog owners. But we can appreciate the love of ones animal. And this location is truly an amazing tribute to man's best friends - be them dogs, cats, horses or ferrets. We climbed the mountain and spied a big blue bird swinging in the tree. Further up a flying dog angel heading over the local fire hydrant. And of course - our first wonderful view of the green mountain state. After inking up - back down to visit the chapel. In awe - we stepped into the chapel and were floored by what we found. After taking the time to appreciate our surroundings, Teacup left her own tribute to a departed family friend before heading off to the gift shop. And our first encounter with those friendly and chatty locals. We enjoyed the art, Teacup picked up a couple gifts for her Toys for Tots stash and we moved along.
Landing in St. Johnsbury we just had to stop at the Maple Syrup museum (one of 5 we ended up seeing along our trip) to start our debauchery. We originally drove past this location - but turned around as an evil plot formed in our minds. We pulled into the strange little parking areas, looked into the 'museum building' and Teacup ducked into the gift shop to distract anyone inside while I tucked a box in the area. The stamp image - Maine Maple Syrup, of course! We laughed like fools at our foolish little coupe as we looked around and picked up a few tidbits in the gift shop. Maple candy, maple tea and partook of a few free sample (bring on our first sampling of the day - not to mention an instant sugar RUSH!)
Looking at our watch - we were happily ahead of schedule and headed off in search of our first tour. Cabot Creamery greeted us along with a persistent shower. We donned our blue booties, watched the informational video and then followed our tour guide on the quick factory tour. They have some wonderful murals in their factory for you to enjoy as you stroll through. A definite must tour for a cheese lover - after ditching our booties we saddled up to the cheese bar. We nibble, we nibbled some more, we tried all the cheese flavors (my favorite was the Alpine Cheddar) and tasted the honey Greek yogurt (not yet in stores) and popped a handful of cheese covered popcorn in our mouths. More nibbles of those cheesey tidbits - new toothpicks for each sample, please. And we opted to head along... we found out that we could pick up our not in all stores flavor pretty locally to us... Portland has a Cabot 'outlet' store in the Old Port. Who knew??? Not us. Go figure!
We wanted to plant at the factory - but there just wasn't a viable location. So we headed back to our main travel route. And low and behold "Can I get an Amen! AMEN" Dead people gave us an option to plant a cheese little mouse. With two plants under our belt, we were beginning to get on a roll. Consulting the map and the 7-page list, we headed off to the location from which the whole weekend had been planned. Hope Cemetery in Barre, Vermont. Destination central on a Friday the 13th! Where else would a letterboxer want to be on Friday the 13th but in a cemetery - and an epic one is even better. This cemetery is home to some incredible monuments. Stone carved into soccer balls, planes, cars, people in beds and other amazing works of stonemanship. We picked up the images we could find in the series and came up with a loss for another in the same location. The rain was getting heavier, and we started to hear the rumblings of thunder rolling around us. Time to move along....
Next stop - another epic must have in a Vermont trip - Ben & Jerry's. We went inside and did the tour, sampled ice cream - and much to Teacup horror - opted to pass on buying more ice cream. The lines were crazy and the rain was getting heavier. We need to get those inky boxes waiting for us. The first 2 were easy pickings - though they both required trail magic as they hadn't weathered the winter and the logbooks were a complete loss. We moved on to another one in the parking lot before heading off to the Flavor Graveyard. Final resting place of those dearly departed flavors. ***A moment of silence for your favorite flavor that is no more - mine being White Russian with Buzz *** Heads bowed and umbrellas held high - we entered the hollowed grounds... okay - it's a flavor graveyard... so we found our required 'stones' and got our bearings on where we needed to find more ink. And wouldn't you know it... muggles. Don't they know it's raining??? So we waited them out in the car - umbrellas at the ready to replant when they had their backs turned and umbrellas blocking our actions.
We had another a few other places on our list - places we thought might be interesting. So up our first dirt mountain road we headed to visit the Crash at Camel's Hump. Really?? People live on this road? They have to take a walking bridge to get to their house? And it's probably the very last road plowed in the winter... probably another reason why everyone we passed with local plates was driving a 4-wheel drive! Up, up, up. Corners, turns, bumps in the roads. We made it to the top - and couldn't figure out where to start... due to the rain - the daylight was waning - we opted to head back down the hill before the rain washed us down the hill. Green Mountain coffee called to us from a local train station... or at least that's what we thought we heard. By the time we got there though - it was closed :(
By this time - it was getting darker, the rain was getting heavier and we had an hours drive to our hotel. One whole town just got axed from our trip! Off we headed to Burlington. The fog was hanging in the mountains like it was tucked in pockets of a shirt. Whale tails drifted past us in the fog. By the time we made it to our hotel - we were ready to have a bit of a rest (and a cocktail!) We dropped our stuff and headed across the street for a late night dinner. And it was YUMMY! The asiago cheese sticks were perfect and the portions HUGE! After a day of dietary blockage - we opted for cleansing cocktails - high on cranberry juice and champagne. It's amazing how happy a cocktail after a long day can make one. We ambled back to our room and said good night to our guardian mother bird. Showers and tucked in for the night - Teacup and I adjusted our plans... we couldn't complete cut out Stowe... a new plan ready to go... we said goodnight to Vermont and thanked them for a fabulous first day! Join us tomorrow for day two's adventures.
Saturday, November 28, 2015
United Way Loaned Executive Experience
First - let me start by saying that I had been primed to do this for three years. I had been our building Division Manager and had handled the campaign for close to 1000 employees each year - so I thought I knew what I was getting into by having my leader nominate me to be a Loaned Executive for United Way. I couldn't have been more wrong.
At LL Bean - you have to be nominated to be a Loaned Executive for United Way. Once you are nominated by your Supervisor - it then has to be blessed by your Manager and then your Division Vice President BEFORE it even makes it to Staffing. They then sort through the applications and interview only the best nominated employees. And the interview process is hard. It's an hour interview done by a panel of previous Loaned Executives from LL Bean the year prior, plus facilitators from Staffing and Employee Development. And the questions make you think and do some serious soul searching. If you didn't have a remote connection to United Way - you wouldn't make it through the interview process.
LL Bean loans out four employees to area United Way agencies. Greater Portland, Androscoggin County and Mid-Coast Maine. They also ask you where you'd prefer to work. Since I live and grew up in Brunswick - I of course told them Mid-Coast was my first option, but I'd go anywhere they decided. I figured I was a shoe-in for Mid-Coast. After all - I had a recommendation from one of the Mid-Coast United Way Board Members requesting me as part of their campaign. So when I got the call that I was picked for Greater Portland - I thought, "Okay? How bad can it be?" The first thing I had to do was attend the cocktail reception at Maine Health in Portland.
Now I work in a Distribution center... I wear jeans and t-shirts. In the summer shorts and t-shirts. Sneakers are the normal footwear everyday. And I had to leave work and head to a 'cocktail reception' with United Way board members, staff, and the other Loaned Executives. I had to first FIND dress clothes... I think I own some. But where are they? I haven't been to something dressy - well, since my wedding! But I dug out a dress, painted my toe nails as I was wearing sandals and found my best looking sandals... even those are mostly more well-worn than dressy. But they'd have to do. Dressed up as best as I could pull off - I drove into Portland - hot on the heels of everyone I work with telling me they'd never seen me in a dress before...
Maine Health is housed in the old Sear building - a non-nondescript brick three story building next to the Civic Center. It looked like every other brick building in Portland - and the last time I had been in it was probably in the late 70's when it was still the Sears building. I opened the door and walked into an atrium of three floors of 'offices' over-looking their sky lit common meeting area one floor below ground level. Every level was draped in lush ivy and the natural light made me feel like I wasn't in an office building at all. It was spectacular. After I closed my gaping mouth - found my name tag - managed to remember to get my parking validated - I headed downstairs to see what I was getting myself into. I was never so excited to see a familiar face as I was to see Mara. She had been our Loaned Executive the year before and I headed straight for her. I had a moment to gather what little wits I had - looking around at the wine and beer bar and the finger appetizers strategically perched around the room. But in my mind all I could think was - "I don't do cocktail parties. I cater them, heck I could even serve the drinks, but I'm not usually one attending them."
So people started to slowly fill the area. Everyone was wearing name tags - but they were all different colors. Green, blue, black and I had no idea what any of them meant. I quickly looked at mine to see what color it was - but just as quickly forgot. People were beginning to gather. Men dressed in suits and ties, sophisticated women in dresses all flashing pearly white smiles. They migrated towards the bar and picked up their glasses of wine or microbrews and I continued to wander around like a lost soul.
I was introduced to a few people - other Loaned Executives mostly but then was left to my own devices. Oh gawd... I hate mingling. I hate small talk. I'm better at being behind the scenes - comfortably cooking the cute little appetizers they were serving. But I managed to weave my way to the bar and pick up my glass of ginger ale. High test as it was served with lime. I didn't dare eat anything - because knowing my luck - I'd be the one with spinach caught between my front teeth for the whole thing - and that was one impression I could seriously do without.
After about thirty minutes of excruciating mingling - people started to make small speeches. And surprise - all of the Loaned Executives got to get up and tell why they were a Loaned Executive, what company sponsored them and why they supported United Way. Stars started to flash before my eyes. I was getting fuzzy. Speak in front of people I'd never met - or barely met. This could only result in a sudden implosion of my brain. And lucky me - having Stevens as a last name - I got to go almost last. So the others slowly started to get up and do their little introduction. In my head I kept repeating - "You work at LL Bean, you work at LL Bean" because that was the one thing I really didn't want to forget in front of everyone.
They were eloquent. They were poised. I was a shaking mess. Time ticked away, my heart rate started to pound in my ears, louder and louder. I hate public speaking. I can do it when I know about it - but impromptu - I feel a stroke starting to surface. I'm going to pass out. I'm going to trip going up the steps they were using as a stage. I can't do this. Hyperventilation was quickly working its way through me. And then they called my name. I navigated through the group and up two steps. Didn't trip, still breathing and I started to speak. I think I mentioned LL Bean. I think I mentioned United Way was personal to me. I think I said a few other things. But frankly - its a big black hole in my memory. I finished and stepped back down and tried to fade into the crowd.
The last person spoke and we mingled some more. I had lasted a little more than an hour in a two hour reception. I had to break free. I said my thanks to the couple of people I knew and mentioned that I had to get home. I lived in Brunswick and had the longest commute. I smiled, and tried to not run back up the stairs to get out of that reception. I walked - as calmly as possible back to my car. Out of my sandals and back into sensible shoes to drive. I sat for a moment to collect my breath. What on earth was everyone thinking??? This is not me. I should be in Mid-Coast. I'm so far out of my comfort zone it's not funny. I made it home without passing out. Self-doubt filling me.
Back at Beans the next day I spoke with Pam, my supervisor. "Pam, it was horrible. I can't do cocktail receptions. I can do small talk. Why on earth did they pick me for Greater Portland? I don't belong there." And as Pam does, in her soft reassuring tone, she simply stated "Kathleen, this is what you've wanted for a long time. They picked you for a reason. You'll do great." Hmmm... I was not convinced. I mentioned my experience to my co-workers. One looked me straight in the eye and said, "Suck it up buttercup. You can do this and you'll rock it."
I don't know about rock it - but I won't back out. We'll see how it turns out...
At LL Bean - you have to be nominated to be a Loaned Executive for United Way. Once you are nominated by your Supervisor - it then has to be blessed by your Manager and then your Division Vice President BEFORE it even makes it to Staffing. They then sort through the applications and interview only the best nominated employees. And the interview process is hard. It's an hour interview done by a panel of previous Loaned Executives from LL Bean the year prior, plus facilitators from Staffing and Employee Development. And the questions make you think and do some serious soul searching. If you didn't have a remote connection to United Way - you wouldn't make it through the interview process.
LL Bean loans out four employees to area United Way agencies. Greater Portland, Androscoggin County and Mid-Coast Maine. They also ask you where you'd prefer to work. Since I live and grew up in Brunswick - I of course told them Mid-Coast was my first option, but I'd go anywhere they decided. I figured I was a shoe-in for Mid-Coast. After all - I had a recommendation from one of the Mid-Coast United Way Board Members requesting me as part of their campaign. So when I got the call that I was picked for Greater Portland - I thought, "Okay? How bad can it be?" The first thing I had to do was attend the cocktail reception at Maine Health in Portland.
Now I work in a Distribution center... I wear jeans and t-shirts. In the summer shorts and t-shirts. Sneakers are the normal footwear everyday. And I had to leave work and head to a 'cocktail reception' with United Way board members, staff, and the other Loaned Executives. I had to first FIND dress clothes... I think I own some. But where are they? I haven't been to something dressy - well, since my wedding! But I dug out a dress, painted my toe nails as I was wearing sandals and found my best looking sandals... even those are mostly more well-worn than dressy. But they'd have to do. Dressed up as best as I could pull off - I drove into Portland - hot on the heels of everyone I work with telling me they'd never seen me in a dress before...
Maine Health is housed in the old Sear building - a non-nondescript brick three story building next to the Civic Center. It looked like every other brick building in Portland - and the last time I had been in it was probably in the late 70's when it was still the Sears building. I opened the door and walked into an atrium of three floors of 'offices' over-looking their sky lit common meeting area one floor below ground level. Every level was draped in lush ivy and the natural light made me feel like I wasn't in an office building at all. It was spectacular. After I closed my gaping mouth - found my name tag - managed to remember to get my parking validated - I headed downstairs to see what I was getting myself into. I was never so excited to see a familiar face as I was to see Mara. She had been our Loaned Executive the year before and I headed straight for her. I had a moment to gather what little wits I had - looking around at the wine and beer bar and the finger appetizers strategically perched around the room. But in my mind all I could think was - "I don't do cocktail parties. I cater them, heck I could even serve the drinks, but I'm not usually one attending them."
So people started to slowly fill the area. Everyone was wearing name tags - but they were all different colors. Green, blue, black and I had no idea what any of them meant. I quickly looked at mine to see what color it was - but just as quickly forgot. People were beginning to gather. Men dressed in suits and ties, sophisticated women in dresses all flashing pearly white smiles. They migrated towards the bar and picked up their glasses of wine or microbrews and I continued to wander around like a lost soul.
I was introduced to a few people - other Loaned Executives mostly but then was left to my own devices. Oh gawd... I hate mingling. I hate small talk. I'm better at being behind the scenes - comfortably cooking the cute little appetizers they were serving. But I managed to weave my way to the bar and pick up my glass of ginger ale. High test as it was served with lime. I didn't dare eat anything - because knowing my luck - I'd be the one with spinach caught between my front teeth for the whole thing - and that was one impression I could seriously do without.
After about thirty minutes of excruciating mingling - people started to make small speeches. And surprise - all of the Loaned Executives got to get up and tell why they were a Loaned Executive, what company sponsored them and why they supported United Way. Stars started to flash before my eyes. I was getting fuzzy. Speak in front of people I'd never met - or barely met. This could only result in a sudden implosion of my brain. And lucky me - having Stevens as a last name - I got to go almost last. So the others slowly started to get up and do their little introduction. In my head I kept repeating - "You work at LL Bean, you work at LL Bean" because that was the one thing I really didn't want to forget in front of everyone.
They were eloquent. They were poised. I was a shaking mess. Time ticked away, my heart rate started to pound in my ears, louder and louder. I hate public speaking. I can do it when I know about it - but impromptu - I feel a stroke starting to surface. I'm going to pass out. I'm going to trip going up the steps they were using as a stage. I can't do this. Hyperventilation was quickly working its way through me. And then they called my name. I navigated through the group and up two steps. Didn't trip, still breathing and I started to speak. I think I mentioned LL Bean. I think I mentioned United Way was personal to me. I think I said a few other things. But frankly - its a big black hole in my memory. I finished and stepped back down and tried to fade into the crowd.
The last person spoke and we mingled some more. I had lasted a little more than an hour in a two hour reception. I had to break free. I said my thanks to the couple of people I knew and mentioned that I had to get home. I lived in Brunswick and had the longest commute. I smiled, and tried to not run back up the stairs to get out of that reception. I walked - as calmly as possible back to my car. Out of my sandals and back into sensible shoes to drive. I sat for a moment to collect my breath. What on earth was everyone thinking??? This is not me. I should be in Mid-Coast. I'm so far out of my comfort zone it's not funny. I made it home without passing out. Self-doubt filling me.
Back at Beans the next day I spoke with Pam, my supervisor. "Pam, it was horrible. I can't do cocktail receptions. I can do small talk. Why on earth did they pick me for Greater Portland? I don't belong there." And as Pam does, in her soft reassuring tone, she simply stated "Kathleen, this is what you've wanted for a long time. They picked you for a reason. You'll do great." Hmmm... I was not convinced. I mentioned my experience to my co-workers. One looked me straight in the eye and said, "Suck it up buttercup. You can do this and you'll rock it."
I don't know about rock it - but I won't back out. We'll see how it turns out...
Sunday, August 16, 2015
Hosting my last events
As many of you know I love hosting events. They bring me considerable creative and personal joy. But I'm also finding they are not making me as happy as they used to. There are a few reasons, hosting even a small event requires attention to details and lots of planning... things I enjoy. But trying to balance all of that and then to have such low numbers actually show makes my efforts feel in vain. I spend months planning, carving, planting and pulling together small diverse details so that everyone has what they enjoy at my events. Most of those that do attend - while they might grumble at some of the things - tend to go away feeling like they've had a good time. It also requires lots of time doing something I alone enjoy. Ashley is moving to NYC in a few days- so the one family member that would do any boxing with me is leaving. So it makes me think it's time to do something different with my time.
Like everything in life - things ebb and flow... so it is with me and events. My discouragement at having lower attendance at my events year after year has helped make the decision easier and not having my planting partner aided in my decision as well. It's time for me to find things to do with Christopher - and change the path I have been traveling for a while now.
So that being said - I have two events left to host, and then yes I will be done. LLBean has been gracious to offer their store for three great events. A unique way to get inky in the middle of the winter and in the middle of the night. I'm fortunate to work for a company that relishes in helping to promote activities that support the outdoors and all of the letterboxing values. We will go out with a bang... and I'm hoping that if you've ever wanted to event an event that goes until wee hours of the morning and pretty much takes over a retail campus - you decide to join us. It will be worth it.
My final event will be a smaller one... though full of more thought provoking clues than most. My library event will have your brain working overtime and give what I hope will be a great final event in my history.
One final thing - I know that others host events as well. The amount of work they all put into them is incredible. Details to planning, plotting and hours of trying to make an event possible is not something that should be under appreciated. If you do sign up for someone's event - please go. And if you cannot - drop yourself from the event and tell the host why. Planning for 100 when 20 show up is frustrating - and if the trend continues, folks will stop hosting. Events are an important part of our hobby. Through them we meet great people who turn into much treasured friends. So treat them like the extended family that they are and be courteous enough to let them know if you are unable to attend their event - they had planned on your attendance so if you do not show up - it has cost them not only time, but usually money and resources.
This hobby is a joy - it has afforded me opportunities to visit places I wouldn't have gone had it not been for the hobby. But more important - it has brought me a treasured group of friends that I consider my extended family. Whether they live in Maine or across the country in Oregon... they are relationships I have built in person or via e-mail that have made this hobby what is important to me. For that I will always be grateful.
Like everything in life - things ebb and flow... so it is with me and events. My discouragement at having lower attendance at my events year after year has helped make the decision easier and not having my planting partner aided in my decision as well. It's time for me to find things to do with Christopher - and change the path I have been traveling for a while now.
So that being said - I have two events left to host, and then yes I will be done. LLBean has been gracious to offer their store for three great events. A unique way to get inky in the middle of the winter and in the middle of the night. I'm fortunate to work for a company that relishes in helping to promote activities that support the outdoors and all of the letterboxing values. We will go out with a bang... and I'm hoping that if you've ever wanted to event an event that goes until wee hours of the morning and pretty much takes over a retail campus - you decide to join us. It will be worth it.
My final event will be a smaller one... though full of more thought provoking clues than most. My library event will have your brain working overtime and give what I hope will be a great final event in my history.
One final thing - I know that others host events as well. The amount of work they all put into them is incredible. Details to planning, plotting and hours of trying to make an event possible is not something that should be under appreciated. If you do sign up for someone's event - please go. And if you cannot - drop yourself from the event and tell the host why. Planning for 100 when 20 show up is frustrating - and if the trend continues, folks will stop hosting. Events are an important part of our hobby. Through them we meet great people who turn into much treasured friends. So treat them like the extended family that they are and be courteous enough to let them know if you are unable to attend their event - they had planned on your attendance so if you do not show up - it has cost them not only time, but usually money and resources.
This hobby is a joy - it has afforded me opportunities to visit places I wouldn't have gone had it not been for the hobby. But more important - it has brought me a treasured group of friends that I consider my extended family. Whether they live in Maine or across the country in Oregon... they are relationships I have built in person or via e-mail that have made this hobby what is important to me. For that I will always be grateful.
Thursday, February 5, 2015
Here goes nothing
So I ended the year on a low point... but as I entered 2015 I started to reflect. I don't need to continue down the low I seemed to be on... I could change my path and make a concerted effort in trying to get into a more positive place. So upon making that decision, I've started to concentrate on more positive things. And let me tell you - honey there are still days I struggle... but then in my mind I start giving myself a stern talking to... and for the most part, it has worked.
I started by thinking how I could control my holiday season better. as many of you know - I work at Beans and from Thanksgiving to Christmas it's all hands on deck... over time... getting those items out to our customers (who ultimately pay my salary.) But I can make sure all of those things that make me feel pulled in every direction are minimized. And don't start groaning - because I don't do this to make folks crazy - but two of the things on my list to have completed early are: my Christmas cards and the majority of my Christmas shopping. I used to do this and Christmas seemed less stressful. I'm not even sure when I stopped doing it - but I'm heading back to that game plan. Cards will be completed by Halloween - postage attached as soon as the Christmas stamps are available - mid November usually and dropped in the mail by December 9th. And like that - one thing done.
The shopping is a bit harder - but there are some stand-bys that I purchase every year for stockings or what not. Those I can purchase well in advance and have them wrapped, labeled and ready to go. Other things might have to wait a bit longer - but my goal is to have the majority of my major shopping completed by Thanksgiving... don't need to wait until Black Friday as I never participate. Even if I put things on layaway (in my mind the perfect hiding spot!) - I'll at least have a sense of what major items I have 'purchased... then when the OT starts happening - I can just finish paying things off and not feel pressured to head out to the mall shopping.
I've always kept a year round list of items to get for folks... people wonder how I usually end up getting 'exactly what they've wanted.' It's because during the year - as folks chat - I listen and write things down : ) I does make shopping much easier. Another thing I'm trying to do it make items for folks - I have some items in mind already... my problem is finding the time to actually do the projects... and since I have a limited craft space (the dining room table plus a couple 'satellite tables' as Ron calls them.) I can't really start something and leave it out for long periods of time... so I'd need a few days off together to get things going... but usually what ends up happening is I don't have the supplies or I end up carving and doing laundry. My perpetual hobbies as of late! LOL.
But I do have goals to change that this year... I also plan on trying to support more local craft people by purchasing what I can at some of our craft years that happen year round... One of the big ones in the area always happened on the weekend of my camping event. With us just having a one day event this year - I'm hoping to get back to that craft fair once again... buy it, wrap it, label it, and tuck it away in the closet... more stress done and gone.
I've also decided to make sure I start doing those things with my family that make me happy - and create those little moments that carry you through to the next day or week. This will be the third year visiting the Shriners Feztival of Trees with my sister, her family and mine. It's a relaxing evening - and yeah we spend money buying those tickets - but it supports a good cause. And even though we have no hope of winning a tree - even Christopher realizes it - we can start to think of how we would share ALL OF THOSE LEGOS!!!
Another thing I want to get back to doing is spending a day shopping with Ashley. With only one day off each week in December - we need to do this earlier. Maybe even mid-week. And now that she's out of school - it just might work. She always lights up my life! She makes me laugh so hard I usually end up crying. We can act foolish together and even better - she's old enough that we can share cocktails together. Not that we drink buckets (okay - we DO drink buckets) but having a drink at an adult restaurant is a bonus when most of my dining options are picked by a 10 year old boy who has recently decided Burger King's nuggets are the BEST! Again - little things : )
So then I started reflecting about work. I have to go there and spend a bazillions hours there in December. Instead of complaining about it - I could make suggestions to make things better. So I started a list of things we could do at work to make things more festive and less - well grumbly. Nothing too exciting... making paper snowflakes to hang in our windows... doing an ornament swap... wearing our PJs to work. I have about 15 things written down and I've shared them with my leader. Mainly because I don't want next year to be as grumbly and non-festive as this year was. Now I don't know if they will actually do it... but its amazing how much pull I have when I get something in my head. So there is a good chance we can do this... heck - we didn't even sponsor a Christmas family this year... and it's the first year in 20 that I've worked in a department that didn't. My motto - if you want things differently - speak up and push ideas forward. Heck even if they decide to do a couple of them - things can only be better than they were last year.
So here we are - heading head long into February. We've been buried in mountains of snow... many of those days I've sat and watched the snowplows drive by - trying desperately to keep up and try to find a place to put yet another 8" on piles that are 6+ feet tall and 5+ feet deep and think that being positive is easier and I'm in a better place than I was a month ago. I might have to build an ark in order to survive the spring thaw... but we'll sing while we row ahead of the waves!
My mountains of carving still keeps me company... and I'm working on building logbooks... but I'm also reading books that I would have never picked up in the past. I'm participating in a reading challenge that Ashley encouraged me to do with her. And now there are a bunch of us doing it together. I've read a graphic novel... and a book written originally in a foreign language... now on to tackling Barbara Bush's memoir! With it being 500+ pages - I should be able to finish it in a day or so... LOL.
So taking a moment - to thank someone I don't even know for setting this all in motion. As part of the AQ Christmas swap - my holidays were restored and my attitude changed. Because if someone who has never met me can send me something so personal - that they took the time to read my blog and pull items from it to make a gift to a stranger more personal - then I should be grateful for the gifts - small and large that are bestowed on me every day.
I have a good job - I have my health (except when the flu vaccine didn't work) - I have a great family - I have a warm house to come home to and food on the table every night. I have friends far and wide that support my crazy addiction to carving and planting stamps... and coming out in the middle of the night in a snow storm - to visit us here in Maine. I have so much to be grateful for - and I need to remember that. Even if I have to give myself a mental talking to once and a while... my goal for the rest of the year - it to remember, no matter how difficult things get - there is always a positive side to everything, even if it's just a little smile or a hug from a reluctant 10-year old. Maybe just even spending the evening watching the Super Bowl or watching all of those glorious snowflakes fall from the sky. Every moment is a gift. And for those simple gifts - we must all be grateful.
So my wish for those of you that read this - may you find those moments that carry you through those times that make you struggle. If you are reading this - you are a friend through the extension of my words. Know you have a friend out there - if we have met in person or not. A friendship that can be shared and paid forward. Take those small moments and carry them forward. Smile at a stranger instead of glaring at them. Hold open a door for someone carrying too many bags to handle. Or just say 'Bless you' when someone sneezes... it's those small thanks that help to make us all feel important and needed.
Here's to a great 2015...
I started by thinking how I could control my holiday season better. as many of you know - I work at Beans and from Thanksgiving to Christmas it's all hands on deck... over time... getting those items out to our customers (who ultimately pay my salary.) But I can make sure all of those things that make me feel pulled in every direction are minimized. And don't start groaning - because I don't do this to make folks crazy - but two of the things on my list to have completed early are: my Christmas cards and the majority of my Christmas shopping. I used to do this and Christmas seemed less stressful. I'm not even sure when I stopped doing it - but I'm heading back to that game plan. Cards will be completed by Halloween - postage attached as soon as the Christmas stamps are available - mid November usually and dropped in the mail by December 9th. And like that - one thing done.
The shopping is a bit harder - but there are some stand-bys that I purchase every year for stockings or what not. Those I can purchase well in advance and have them wrapped, labeled and ready to go. Other things might have to wait a bit longer - but my goal is to have the majority of my major shopping completed by Thanksgiving... don't need to wait until Black Friday as I never participate. Even if I put things on layaway (in my mind the perfect hiding spot!) - I'll at least have a sense of what major items I have 'purchased... then when the OT starts happening - I can just finish paying things off and not feel pressured to head out to the mall shopping.
I've always kept a year round list of items to get for folks... people wonder how I usually end up getting 'exactly what they've wanted.' It's because during the year - as folks chat - I listen and write things down : ) I does make shopping much easier. Another thing I'm trying to do it make items for folks - I have some items in mind already... my problem is finding the time to actually do the projects... and since I have a limited craft space (the dining room table plus a couple 'satellite tables' as Ron calls them.) I can't really start something and leave it out for long periods of time... so I'd need a few days off together to get things going... but usually what ends up happening is I don't have the supplies or I end up carving and doing laundry. My perpetual hobbies as of late! LOL.
But I do have goals to change that this year... I also plan on trying to support more local craft people by purchasing what I can at some of our craft years that happen year round... One of the big ones in the area always happened on the weekend of my camping event. With us just having a one day event this year - I'm hoping to get back to that craft fair once again... buy it, wrap it, label it, and tuck it away in the closet... more stress done and gone.
I've also decided to make sure I start doing those things with my family that make me happy - and create those little moments that carry you through to the next day or week. This will be the third year visiting the Shriners Feztival of Trees with my sister, her family and mine. It's a relaxing evening - and yeah we spend money buying those tickets - but it supports a good cause. And even though we have no hope of winning a tree - even Christopher realizes it - we can start to think of how we would share ALL OF THOSE LEGOS!!!
Another thing I want to get back to doing is spending a day shopping with Ashley. With only one day off each week in December - we need to do this earlier. Maybe even mid-week. And now that she's out of school - it just might work. She always lights up my life! She makes me laugh so hard I usually end up crying. We can act foolish together and even better - she's old enough that we can share cocktails together. Not that we drink buckets (okay - we DO drink buckets) but having a drink at an adult restaurant is a bonus when most of my dining options are picked by a 10 year old boy who has recently decided Burger King's nuggets are the BEST! Again - little things : )
So then I started reflecting about work. I have to go there and spend a bazillions hours there in December. Instead of complaining about it - I could make suggestions to make things better. So I started a list of things we could do at work to make things more festive and less - well grumbly. Nothing too exciting... making paper snowflakes to hang in our windows... doing an ornament swap... wearing our PJs to work. I have about 15 things written down and I've shared them with my leader. Mainly because I don't want next year to be as grumbly and non-festive as this year was. Now I don't know if they will actually do it... but its amazing how much pull I have when I get something in my head. So there is a good chance we can do this... heck - we didn't even sponsor a Christmas family this year... and it's the first year in 20 that I've worked in a department that didn't. My motto - if you want things differently - speak up and push ideas forward. Heck even if they decide to do a couple of them - things can only be better than they were last year.
So here we are - heading head long into February. We've been buried in mountains of snow... many of those days I've sat and watched the snowplows drive by - trying desperately to keep up and try to find a place to put yet another 8" on piles that are 6+ feet tall and 5+ feet deep and think that being positive is easier and I'm in a better place than I was a month ago. I might have to build an ark in order to survive the spring thaw... but we'll sing while we row ahead of the waves!
My mountains of carving still keeps me company... and I'm working on building logbooks... but I'm also reading books that I would have never picked up in the past. I'm participating in a reading challenge that Ashley encouraged me to do with her. And now there are a bunch of us doing it together. I've read a graphic novel... and a book written originally in a foreign language... now on to tackling Barbara Bush's memoir! With it being 500+ pages - I should be able to finish it in a day or so... LOL.
So taking a moment - to thank someone I don't even know for setting this all in motion. As part of the AQ Christmas swap - my holidays were restored and my attitude changed. Because if someone who has never met me can send me something so personal - that they took the time to read my blog and pull items from it to make a gift to a stranger more personal - then I should be grateful for the gifts - small and large that are bestowed on me every day.
I have a good job - I have my health (except when the flu vaccine didn't work) - I have a great family - I have a warm house to come home to and food on the table every night. I have friends far and wide that support my crazy addiction to carving and planting stamps... and coming out in the middle of the night in a snow storm - to visit us here in Maine. I have so much to be grateful for - and I need to remember that. Even if I have to give myself a mental talking to once and a while... my goal for the rest of the year - it to remember, no matter how difficult things get - there is always a positive side to everything, even if it's just a little smile or a hug from a reluctant 10-year old. Maybe just even spending the evening watching the Super Bowl or watching all of those glorious snowflakes fall from the sky. Every moment is a gift. And for those simple gifts - we must all be grateful.
So my wish for those of you that read this - may you find those moments that carry you through those times that make you struggle. If you are reading this - you are a friend through the extension of my words. Know you have a friend out there - if we have met in person or not. A friendship that can be shared and paid forward. Take those small moments and carry them forward. Smile at a stranger instead of glaring at them. Hold open a door for someone carrying too many bags to handle. Or just say 'Bless you' when someone sneezes... it's those small thanks that help to make us all feel important and needed.
Here's to a great 2015...
Saturday, December 20, 2014
As 2014 draws to a close
I find myself reflecting on the past year. And the most I can say is that for me it was a year of recovery. After trying end to 2013, the beginning of 2014 held little hope that things would get better in my personal life. But time and acceptance - even if things are not how I'd hoped they be - is how I find myself ending 2014. The year had a host of minor joys and letdowns as every one's life holds. But for me they seem to have hit me hard mentally and creatively.
Little has brought me the joy I hoped it would, and many of my endeavors seemed to fall flat in my expectations. With less that five days until Christmas I can't remember a year that I've felt less festive than this one. Granted being sick the past week hasn't helped - but this year just lacks the festive feel I've managed to wiggle out of December. While busy at work - in year's past its been with joy and happiness that we've strived to get those gifts out to customers. This year it was just flat... going through the motions without the sense of joy. With work hours sapping me dry - and my lack of enthusiasm for just about everything - I can't wait for December to end.
I have had some joyous moments... an event in January brought out old friends and new ones to play and get inky in the middle of the night. While the weather was bitter - the enthusiasm was not to be dampened. There were other events that made for great days as well... there's nothing so soothing like getting together with good friends for inky therapy. Though not all events were strung out on good thoughts and happy endings... some things just need to come to an end. Thus the final event at Thomas Point Beach. Many memories made making the decision to stop hard - but frankly with 2 camping events before my August event - the numbers were dropping and I figured folks just had had enough. Time to move on.
I love hosting events... hiding boxes for folks to find. Bringing folks together for inky therapy makes me momentarily happy - but things just seem unfulfilled lately.
With so many things just not working out the way I'd hoped - both professionally and personally - I feel slightly defeated. Work was especially difficult this year. A work associate who I had dealt with for many years at a much higher detail, working on many projects together, seemed to spiral out of control finding me in HR. My work atmosphere is less than positive but I'm wondering if it's just my cynicism at this point that sees the problems spinning all around me. I love my job and hate my job. I love going to work and hate going to work. Work has kept me awake at night and kept me home in tears and frustration.
Thankfully - pulling me through the year are two of my children. While Veronica has moved out of our lives to a large degree, Christopher and Ashley bring me considerable joy. Ashley was kind enough to spend her 23rd birthday entertaining her mother on Friday the 13th in June. We had a fabulous day hiking, planting and laughing in the rain. Then just recently Ashley and Christopher visited Battleship Cove and the Lizzie Borden House. Just their tales alone brought me vicarious joy.
But as the year comes to a close I can only hope that spirits rise and tides change direction. Wishing everyone out there a wonderful new year full of hope, joy and happiness. Even if you have to go out of your way to find it.
Little has brought me the joy I hoped it would, and many of my endeavors seemed to fall flat in my expectations. With less that five days until Christmas I can't remember a year that I've felt less festive than this one. Granted being sick the past week hasn't helped - but this year just lacks the festive feel I've managed to wiggle out of December. While busy at work - in year's past its been with joy and happiness that we've strived to get those gifts out to customers. This year it was just flat... going through the motions without the sense of joy. With work hours sapping me dry - and my lack of enthusiasm for just about everything - I can't wait for December to end.
I have had some joyous moments... an event in January brought out old friends and new ones to play and get inky in the middle of the night. While the weather was bitter - the enthusiasm was not to be dampened. There were other events that made for great days as well... there's nothing so soothing like getting together with good friends for inky therapy. Though not all events were strung out on good thoughts and happy endings... some things just need to come to an end. Thus the final event at Thomas Point Beach. Many memories made making the decision to stop hard - but frankly with 2 camping events before my August event - the numbers were dropping and I figured folks just had had enough. Time to move on.
I love hosting events... hiding boxes for folks to find. Bringing folks together for inky therapy makes me momentarily happy - but things just seem unfulfilled lately.
With so many things just not working out the way I'd hoped - both professionally and personally - I feel slightly defeated. Work was especially difficult this year. A work associate who I had dealt with for many years at a much higher detail, working on many projects together, seemed to spiral out of control finding me in HR. My work atmosphere is less than positive but I'm wondering if it's just my cynicism at this point that sees the problems spinning all around me. I love my job and hate my job. I love going to work and hate going to work. Work has kept me awake at night and kept me home in tears and frustration.
Thankfully - pulling me through the year are two of my children. While Veronica has moved out of our lives to a large degree, Christopher and Ashley bring me considerable joy. Ashley was kind enough to spend her 23rd birthday entertaining her mother on Friday the 13th in June. We had a fabulous day hiking, planting and laughing in the rain. Then just recently Ashley and Christopher visited Battleship Cove and the Lizzie Borden House. Just their tales alone brought me vicarious joy.
But as the year comes to a close I can only hope that spirits rise and tides change direction. Wishing everyone out there a wonderful new year full of hope, joy and happiness. Even if you have to go out of your way to find it.
Saturday, December 28, 2013
Looking forward to 2014
I will have to say, 2013 was a rough year for my family, many of my friends and myself. I will not be shedding any tears to see 2013 close. It was a year full of pain and anguish, frustration and heartache and very difficult decisions. But as the year winds down, I'm hoping for myself and everyone I know that 2014 is a much better year.
2013 brought unwanted changes - some necessary, yet still heart breaking. In 2014 I'm hoping that the changes I make will bring brighter and happier results. Less anguish and more laughter. It seems like what we refer to as the "year from hell" started right before Halloween last year and progressively got worse over the next 12 months. Happily - while very different, this Halloween seemed to be less stressful and more serene... granted I was hopped up on pain meds and recovering from post-surgery in the hospital - but when your surgeon bring you candy, things can only get better.
Another thing that happened in October was a trip to Salem with my sisters and Ashley. Good times with family should only be cherished - and as the years roll along I've realized that some of my happiest of memories have been made with my two sisters and my oldest daughter. With these three women - we can share foolishness and laughter that can only make one's heart sour into recovery. I will admit, growing up - my youngest sister I didn't have second thoughts about. We were half sisters with many years between us. But as adults - we are probably the most alike. We share similar passions in hobbies - not to mention are both employed by LL Bean. So we can share similar tales of employment woes as well.
But it is also with Laurie, Colleen and Ashley that I feel like laughter - true tears rolling, stomach killing doubled over laughter can be shared. We bring out the best of the most foolish with each other and can laugh at each other without getting mad about it. We all bring different perspectives to the table which always makes our outings unique and fun filled. Heading off to Salem the Saturday before Halloween was no exception. There is nothing funnier than bringing an empath together with a doubting Thomas... especially at a séance. Having a shop owner try to sell Colleen - the 'cerebral' member of our group - on the virtues of Runes lead Laurie and I to double over in laughter in the middle of the store. The only thing that made it better was watching Colleen's face change with amazement during the séance when the medium made references to our mother as she passed by us. Even trying to 'set-up' the medium didn't work - which lead to some very interesting conversations after the trip. Sometimes a 'Hen Party' is the perfect solution for what ails you.
November was pretty quiet... as I was recovering from surgery, and we had just moved - almost all of which Ron did by himself, I sort of became bummed at my inability to unpack all of the towering boxes in our new house. To keep myself from going batty - and from loosing too much brain matter from daytime television - I went shopping. While the ends justified the means, shopping when you have no income is not a really smart idea. But in the long run - it did work out to my benefit. I had all of my Christmas shopping finished, wrapped and mostly under the tree with ribbons and bows by the first weekend in December. The first year in many that I wasn't completely frantic trying to get everything accomplished in December. Mentally I was getting into a better place and emotionally I was getting there as well.
December after work I could come home and sit and look at my tree - which Christopher and Ashley did a fabulous job decorating - and just relax. Things were getting better. While my life wasn't complete void of frustration and worry - and there isn't an adult out there whose life is - it seemed more manageable this year. I was able to enjoy December more than I have in the past. Even working longer hours and extra days didn't seem to put a damper on things for me.
Now that peak is over, Christmas has come and gone with little to no drama and more laughter than I remember from last year, I'm hoping my life has turned the tide. That more happy days are on the horizon and better times will follow. I already have so many good things to look forward to, right off the bat. In January I'm hosting an event inside LL Bean! And so many folks have already signed up to come to it - that I'm absolutely AMAZED! Who would have thought that folks would really go for the idea of a late night boxing event at a shopping mecca? I can't wait for things to start coming together.
Friends will gather in February for another small event or two... some boxing but sometimes just fun and games. I'm hoping to get my house settled completely and finally unpack the rest of those boxes that are still stacked in the back 'storage room.' A room that will hopefully turn into a craft room/office of sorts. I have many boxing adventures to look forward to this year. One of Christopher's favorites is back again - Jiffy's Tour the Fort event in May. Christopher was so sad when we didn't tour a fort last year - but this year it's back! Then we have KITES to look forward to, mini golf with our friends in Saco and of course letter boxer's Christmas in November. We are also deep in the planning stages for Christmas in August. Christmas - while full of stress and lack of time - has always been my favorite holiday. My biggest regret every year is that I can't spend it with more of my friends. I've always dreamed of having a tree trimming party to start off my holiday season - but I've never been able to do it. There's just not enough time in December - and the weather can be frightful! So all of those Christmas dreams - we're pulling them together and doing them in August.
I'm also hoping to spend more time with my sisters. Laurie made Colleen and I shirts to match one she also has that say our names and "Hen Party." I'm thinking us hen's need to spend more time together. Our husbands might not agree - but I think if we feed them - they'll deal with us for a little while! Something else I managed to do this year was finally attend the Kora Shriner's Feztival of Trees. It was amazing! It is definitely going to be on my annual holiday must do list. Not knowing what to expect - just Colleen, Emily and I went. Next year I'll definitely bring Christopher. The trees are amazing - and it's a feel good kind of fun buying raffle tickets and dropping them into the 'candy cane' striped poles, even though you have no chance of winning the trees... the money all goes to a great cause.
When the weather is warmer - but it's dark enough early enough, the three Hens and Ashley hope to go back to Salem for a candle light walk. It seems Laurie and Colleen have never been to the Salem Witch museum... so we'll do that too. The lines in October are CRAZY! So we spent more time shopping and people watching than actually enjoying the fascinating history that Salem offers - and we need to get back to that charming restaurant that we ate at a few years ago...
I'm also going to finish editing the stories I've written so that Ashley can do something with them. I've always written because its been cathartic for me. Sadly - this past year - with everything that has been happening, writing couldn't help me. I felt mentally blocked in a depressed and anxious sort of way. Which is odd - because in the past, writing has always helped me push through. But last year I just felt boxed in and unable to break the seal to find release. Since I'm dreaming storylines again - I think the tape that held me boxed - has finally given way. While this always brings new ideas - I'm determined to finish things I've started first. I've have started one new project - one which I hope will be a cherished Christmas present next year. I also have thoughts on another one - similar, but different which will require some creative energy for me to make. I can see it in my head... I just have to let my mind relax enough to let it happen on paper. I've never been a very 'artsy' person - and this project would push my boundaries - but it's one I really want to do - and I think I have the space and time and mental relaxation to be able to accomplish it this year.
So with all of this drivel - what it really boils down to is hope, aspiration, inspiration and laughter for 2014. For myself, for my family and my wide circle of friends as well. For everyone who mentioned that 2013 was a yucky year - here's to moving on to a much better 2014. And if you happen to have been one of those lucky souls that had a great 2013 - here's wishing you an even better 2014! I know I have much to look forward to and am more than willing to forget what I will happily leave behind in 2013. Happy New Year everyone. And here's to a successful hunt on the flipside!
2013 brought unwanted changes - some necessary, yet still heart breaking. In 2014 I'm hoping that the changes I make will bring brighter and happier results. Less anguish and more laughter. It seems like what we refer to as the "year from hell" started right before Halloween last year and progressively got worse over the next 12 months. Happily - while very different, this Halloween seemed to be less stressful and more serene... granted I was hopped up on pain meds and recovering from post-surgery in the hospital - but when your surgeon bring you candy, things can only get better.
Another thing that happened in October was a trip to Salem with my sisters and Ashley. Good times with family should only be cherished - and as the years roll along I've realized that some of my happiest of memories have been made with my two sisters and my oldest daughter. With these three women - we can share foolishness and laughter that can only make one's heart sour into recovery. I will admit, growing up - my youngest sister I didn't have second thoughts about. We were half sisters with many years between us. But as adults - we are probably the most alike. We share similar passions in hobbies - not to mention are both employed by LL Bean. So we can share similar tales of employment woes as well.
But it is also with Laurie, Colleen and Ashley that I feel like laughter - true tears rolling, stomach killing doubled over laughter can be shared. We bring out the best of the most foolish with each other and can laugh at each other without getting mad about it. We all bring different perspectives to the table which always makes our outings unique and fun filled. Heading off to Salem the Saturday before Halloween was no exception. There is nothing funnier than bringing an empath together with a doubting Thomas... especially at a séance. Having a shop owner try to sell Colleen - the 'cerebral' member of our group - on the virtues of Runes lead Laurie and I to double over in laughter in the middle of the store. The only thing that made it better was watching Colleen's face change with amazement during the séance when the medium made references to our mother as she passed by us. Even trying to 'set-up' the medium didn't work - which lead to some very interesting conversations after the trip. Sometimes a 'Hen Party' is the perfect solution for what ails you.
November was pretty quiet... as I was recovering from surgery, and we had just moved - almost all of which Ron did by himself, I sort of became bummed at my inability to unpack all of the towering boxes in our new house. To keep myself from going batty - and from loosing too much brain matter from daytime television - I went shopping. While the ends justified the means, shopping when you have no income is not a really smart idea. But in the long run - it did work out to my benefit. I had all of my Christmas shopping finished, wrapped and mostly under the tree with ribbons and bows by the first weekend in December. The first year in many that I wasn't completely frantic trying to get everything accomplished in December. Mentally I was getting into a better place and emotionally I was getting there as well.
December after work I could come home and sit and look at my tree - which Christopher and Ashley did a fabulous job decorating - and just relax. Things were getting better. While my life wasn't complete void of frustration and worry - and there isn't an adult out there whose life is - it seemed more manageable this year. I was able to enjoy December more than I have in the past. Even working longer hours and extra days didn't seem to put a damper on things for me.
Now that peak is over, Christmas has come and gone with little to no drama and more laughter than I remember from last year, I'm hoping my life has turned the tide. That more happy days are on the horizon and better times will follow. I already have so many good things to look forward to, right off the bat. In January I'm hosting an event inside LL Bean! And so many folks have already signed up to come to it - that I'm absolutely AMAZED! Who would have thought that folks would really go for the idea of a late night boxing event at a shopping mecca? I can't wait for things to start coming together.
Friends will gather in February for another small event or two... some boxing but sometimes just fun and games. I'm hoping to get my house settled completely and finally unpack the rest of those boxes that are still stacked in the back 'storage room.' A room that will hopefully turn into a craft room/office of sorts. I have many boxing adventures to look forward to this year. One of Christopher's favorites is back again - Jiffy's Tour the Fort event in May. Christopher was so sad when we didn't tour a fort last year - but this year it's back! Then we have KITES to look forward to, mini golf with our friends in Saco and of course letter boxer's Christmas in November. We are also deep in the planning stages for Christmas in August. Christmas - while full of stress and lack of time - has always been my favorite holiday. My biggest regret every year is that I can't spend it with more of my friends. I've always dreamed of having a tree trimming party to start off my holiday season - but I've never been able to do it. There's just not enough time in December - and the weather can be frightful! So all of those Christmas dreams - we're pulling them together and doing them in August.
I'm also hoping to spend more time with my sisters. Laurie made Colleen and I shirts to match one she also has that say our names and "Hen Party." I'm thinking us hen's need to spend more time together. Our husbands might not agree - but I think if we feed them - they'll deal with us for a little while! Something else I managed to do this year was finally attend the Kora Shriner's Feztival of Trees. It was amazing! It is definitely going to be on my annual holiday must do list. Not knowing what to expect - just Colleen, Emily and I went. Next year I'll definitely bring Christopher. The trees are amazing - and it's a feel good kind of fun buying raffle tickets and dropping them into the 'candy cane' striped poles, even though you have no chance of winning the trees... the money all goes to a great cause.
When the weather is warmer - but it's dark enough early enough, the three Hens and Ashley hope to go back to Salem for a candle light walk. It seems Laurie and Colleen have never been to the Salem Witch museum... so we'll do that too. The lines in October are CRAZY! So we spent more time shopping and people watching than actually enjoying the fascinating history that Salem offers - and we need to get back to that charming restaurant that we ate at a few years ago...
I'm also going to finish editing the stories I've written so that Ashley can do something with them. I've always written because its been cathartic for me. Sadly - this past year - with everything that has been happening, writing couldn't help me. I felt mentally blocked in a depressed and anxious sort of way. Which is odd - because in the past, writing has always helped me push through. But last year I just felt boxed in and unable to break the seal to find release. Since I'm dreaming storylines again - I think the tape that held me boxed - has finally given way. While this always brings new ideas - I'm determined to finish things I've started first. I've have started one new project - one which I hope will be a cherished Christmas present next year. I also have thoughts on another one - similar, but different which will require some creative energy for me to make. I can see it in my head... I just have to let my mind relax enough to let it happen on paper. I've never been a very 'artsy' person - and this project would push my boundaries - but it's one I really want to do - and I think I have the space and time and mental relaxation to be able to accomplish it this year.
So with all of this drivel - what it really boils down to is hope, aspiration, inspiration and laughter for 2014. For myself, for my family and my wide circle of friends as well. For everyone who mentioned that 2013 was a yucky year - here's to moving on to a much better 2014. And if you happen to have been one of those lucky souls that had a great 2013 - here's wishing you an even better 2014! I know I have much to look forward to and am more than willing to forget what I will happily leave behind in 2013. Happy New Year everyone. And here's to a successful hunt on the flipside!
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