Here goes nothing

So I ended the year on a low point... but as I entered 2015 I started to reflect.  I don't need to continue down the low I seemed to be on... I could change my path and make a concerted effort in trying to get into a more positive place.  So upon making that decision, I've started to concentrate on more positive things.  And let me tell you - honey there are still days I struggle... but then in my mind I start giving myself a stern talking to... and for the most part, it has worked. 

I started by thinking how I could control my holiday season better.  as many of you know - I work at Beans and from Thanksgiving to Christmas it's all hands on deck... over time... getting those items out to our customers (who ultimately pay my salary.)  But I can make sure all of those things that make me feel pulled in every direction are minimized.  And don't start groaning - because I don't do this to make folks crazy - but two of the things on my list to have completed early are:  my Christmas cards and the majority of my Christmas shopping.  I used to do this and Christmas seemed less stressful.  I'm not even sure when I stopped doing it - but I'm heading back to that game plan.  Cards will be completed by Halloween - postage attached as soon as the Christmas stamps are available - mid November usually and dropped in the mail by December 9th.  And like that - one thing done. 

The shopping is a bit harder - but there are some stand-bys that I purchase every year for stockings or what not.  Those I can purchase well in advance and have them wrapped, labeled and ready to go.  Other things might have to wait a bit longer - but my goal is to have the majority of my major shopping completed by Thanksgiving... don't need to wait until Black Friday as I never participate.  Even if I put things on layaway (in my mind the perfect hiding spot!) - I'll at least have a sense of what major items I have 'purchased... then when the OT starts happening - I can just finish paying things off and not feel pressured to head out to the mall shopping.

I've always kept a year round list of items to get for folks... people wonder how I usually end up getting 'exactly what they've wanted.' It's because during the year - as folks chat - I listen and write things down : )  I does make shopping much easier.  Another thing I'm trying to do it make items for folks - I have some items in mind already... my problem is finding the time to actually do the projects... and since I have a limited craft space (the dining room table plus a couple 'satellite tables' as Ron calls them.) I can't really start something and leave it out for long periods of time... so I'd need a few days off together to get things going... but usually what ends up happening is I don't have the supplies or I end up carving and doing laundry.  My perpetual hobbies as of late!  LOL.

But I do have goals to change that this year... I also plan on trying to support more local craft people by purchasing what I can at some of our craft years that happen year round... One of the big ones in the area always happened on the weekend of my camping event.  With us just having a one day event this year - I'm hoping to get back to that craft fair once again... buy it, wrap it, label it, and tuck it away in the closet... more stress done and gone.

I've also decided to make sure I start doing those things with my family that make me happy - and create those little moments that carry you through to the next day or week.  This will be the third year visiting the Shriners Feztival of Trees with my sister, her family and mine.  It's a relaxing evening - and yeah we spend money buying those tickets - but it supports a good cause.  And even though we have no hope of winning a tree - even Christopher realizes it - we can start to think of how we would share ALL OF THOSE LEGOS!!!

Another thing I want to get back to doing is spending a day shopping with Ashley.  With only one day off each week in December - we need to do this earlier.  Maybe even mid-week.  And now that she's out of school - it just might work.  She always lights up my life!  She makes me laugh so hard I usually end up crying.  We can act foolish together and even better - she's old enough that we can share cocktails together.  Not that we drink buckets (okay - we DO drink buckets) but having a drink at an adult restaurant is a bonus when most of my dining options are picked by a 10 year old boy who has recently decided Burger King's nuggets are the BEST!  Again - little things : )

So then I started reflecting about work.  I have to go there and spend a bazillions hours there in December.  Instead of complaining about it - I could make suggestions to make things better.  So I started a list of things we could do at work to make things more festive and less - well grumbly.  Nothing too exciting... making paper snowflakes to hang in our windows... doing an ornament swap... wearing our PJs to work.  I have about 15 things written down and I've shared them with my leader.  Mainly because I don't want next year to be as grumbly and non-festive as this year was.  Now I don't know if they will actually do it... but its amazing how much pull I have when I get something in my head.  So there is a good chance we can do this... heck - we didn't even sponsor a Christmas family this year... and it's the first year in 20 that I've worked in a department that didn't.  My motto - if you want things differently - speak up and push ideas forward.  Heck even if they decide to do a couple of them - things can only be better than they were last year.

So here we are - heading head long into February.  We've been buried in mountains of snow... many of those days I've sat and watched the snowplows drive by - trying desperately to keep up and try to find a place to put yet another 8" on piles that are 6+ feet tall and 5+ feet deep and think that being positive is easier and I'm in a better place than I was a month ago.  I might have to build an ark in order to survive the spring thaw... but we'll sing while we row ahead of the waves!

My mountains of carving still keeps me company... and I'm working on building logbooks... but I'm also reading books that I would have never picked up in the past.  I'm participating in a reading challenge that Ashley encouraged me to do with her.  And now there are a bunch of us doing it together.  I've read a graphic novel... and a book written originally in a foreign language... now on to tackling Barbara Bush's memoir!  With it being 500+ pages - I should be able to finish it in a day or so... LOL.

So taking a moment - to thank someone I don't even know for setting this all in motion.  As part of the AQ Christmas swap - my holidays were restored and my attitude changed.  Because if someone who has never met me can send me something so personal - that they took the time to read my blog and pull items from it to make a gift to a stranger more personal - then I should be grateful for the gifts - small and large that are bestowed on me every day.

I have a good job - I have my health (except when the flu vaccine didn't work) - I have a great family - I have a warm house to come home to and food on the table every night.  I have friends far and wide that support my crazy addiction to carving and planting stamps... and coming out in the middle of the night in a snow storm - to visit us here in Maine.  I have so much to be grateful for - and I need to remember that.  Even if I have to give myself a mental talking to once and a while... my goal for the rest of the year - it to remember, no matter how difficult things get - there is always a positive side to everything, even if it's just a little smile or a hug from a reluctant 10-year old.  Maybe just even spending the evening watching the Super Bowl or watching all of those glorious snowflakes fall from the sky.  Every moment is a gift.  And for those simple gifts - we must all be grateful.

So my wish for those of you that read this - may you find those moments that carry you through those times that make you struggle.  If you are reading this - you are a friend through the extension of my words.  Know you have a friend out there - if we have met in person or not.  A friendship that can be shared and paid forward.  Take those small moments and carry them forward.  Smile at a stranger instead of glaring at them.  Hold open a door for someone carrying too many bags to handle.  Or just say 'Bless you' when someone sneezes... it's those small thanks that help to make us all feel important and needed.

Here's to a great 2015...