Those difficult moments...

I have been guilty of letting a 'moment in time' slip through my hands on many occasions.  One of those moments in my life has turned into one of my biggest regrets.  But with that regret - it also taught me an important life lesson.  We are given the opportunity to share of ourselves with others every day.  Sometimes we are in the right place to do it, while at other times it is much harder to do.  After I made the choice not to speak at a friends memorial service a few years ago... I have spent numerous silent moments reflecting on how poor of a choice it was.  How selfish I was to thing that my pain was so much greater than taking the few moments to share what a wonderful friend Terri had been to me.  But those reflections have also made me realize that when those moments in time surface now - I take the time to step up and speak.

And for me, speaking starts by writing it down.  Tweaking it, changing it and finding just the right things to say to make how I feel come to life.  And in doing that, making each experience with that person come alive once again in my audience's faces.  A few years ago a co-worker was retiring.  I had worked with him the whole time I worked at LL Bean.  We had been through so many experiences together - that there was no way possible to even attempt to put all of them on paper.  But I did attempt to remember the highlights of our time, and in my own way - let him know what a profound influence getting to know him over the years had on me.  How much his leaving was going to change my life.

So today, once again I was working and reflecting on how this supervisor had impacted me and my department.  So many small ways every day.  And some even larger ones for me personally.  I was saddened by the fact that she was leaving, but so grateful that she had passed through my life.  Once again, I wrote how I felt.  And later - I read this to my department and to Susan.  We have a SMILE committee, they help put together fun events for our department, one of this one was a part of.  I'm not a member of this group.  In my attempt to be silly - I told someone that instead I'm the sole member of the CRY committee.  As I read my speach, my voice faltered, tears were shed, tissues were passed through the group.  By the end - not one person had dry eyes.  Susan had indeed made such an impact on our department that what I spoke, everyone could relate to and felt in some way as well. 

Susan was a rare supervisor indeed.  She had a smile that lit up a room and compassion for all that transcended those before her and those to follow in her path.  She made everyone feel important and needed.  She made me feel like I was an important part of LL Bean, and after twenty years, I can feel like my importance is over-looked and under valued.  Susan always let me know how important I was and was the first leader in my career that actually advocated so much in my behalf - that she changed the opinion of a manager.  An opportunity has been given me because she made it happen for me.

Will I miss Susan, most definately.  But I am hoping that just a morsel of what she imparted, the compassion that she shared with all of us, I can carry forward and remember her even after she is gone.

So I encourage everyone, do not let those moments pass.  Take the time to let others know how you feel.  You are profoundly important in the lives of others - make sure they know how.  Make sure they know why.  Take the time to make them understand how important they are in your life.  You might cry, you might get embarassed.  But you just might make both your lives that much brighter.