The impact of a four legged friend

Thay say "you're gonna miss me when I'm gone," and in out house this evening this is proving painfully truthful. We've been blessed by having a wonderful feline as a member of our family for more than nine years. And today as a family we are mourning his passing. Hummer was just that, a hummer of a cat. A cat that arrived as part of a pair for my husband one Christmas nine years ago, and today we had to bury this very important member of our family and his death has torn our hearts apart.
Many in my family tell me on a regular basis that I'm not an animal lover, but in truth - I am. I just also realize that I do not lead the kind of life that warrants owning an animal, cats being the exception. For cats are truely part human in nature and totally independant and really do not need us at all. We need them much more than they really need us. So I brought home Hummer and Cleo as Christmas presents for my husband who always has had cats in his house. Growing up with cats and dogs, I thought these two cats would be a natural addition.
Right from the start, Cleo proved to be more superior than her human minions. She would situate herself high and aloft from anyone in the family. Only coming in contact with anyone if absolutely necessary. But Hummer, now he was different. He wanted to be close, closer if at all possible. He was happiest she he was nose to nose with one of us.
Almost seven years ago, Hummer decided right off that he was going to be a constant companion to our newest member of the family. From the moment I was preganant, Hummer started sleeping on my stomach. As I would move, he would move with me. The farther along in the pregnancy - the closer he would be to me. He was a constant 'watch cat' for what was being added to our family. When Christopher arrived, Hummer would sleep on the floor next to the bassinet. If not there, he would sleep on my shoulder keeping a watchful eye on his newest human pet. If Christopher whimpered and I didn't immediately respond, Hummer was immediately under my feet getting my attention.
When Christopher moved into his crib, Hummer went with him. Sleeping next to his littlest charge, keeping him safe. When we would have Christopher nap on the couch, Hummer would keep him safely in place, washing his hair while nearby. Many photos are in our albums of Christopher and Hummer, constant companions right from the start.
As Christopher grew older - Christopher started doing things to that poor cat that little boys would do. Carrying the cat from one end of the house to the other - barely holding him by two legs, the back to dragging behind him. We'd find Hummer patiently waiting out his turn of hide-n-seek inside a closet (which Hummer knew how to get out of if we didn't catch on fast enough.) Then there were numerous baths, carrying the cat in baby blankets and driving the cat crazy with a laser light. All Hummer would allow CHristopher to do to him without even the slightest of meows.
As Hummer got older - he'd start to throw his weight around the neighborhood. He's taken on a fisher and won. Brought through the cat door as presents mice, moles, bats, birds, squirrels, chipmunks, frogs, and snakes. He's taken on more than one neighborhood rival and kept them away from our backdoor. And most recently - a raccoon kept him howling while perched high atop the spare refridgerator. But one this he couldn't beat - a passing car. We live on a busy road where most drive way to fast. Hummer is not the first cat we've buried because of a vehicle and I'm sure he will not be the last, but he certainly feels like the most impactful.
For the last 4 hours I have held my two youngest children in my arms as I've tried to explain to them why Hummer would not be coming back. Veronica understands a little better, but for Christopher - Hummer has been a constant in his life. Here from the beginning, Christopher is convinced that once Daddy covers him with dirt, Hummer will wake up and eat again. Even seeing him dead - which I could not handle, my two little ones were convinced to a point that Hummer wasn't dead. His eyes were blinking and he's still alive.
Ron was left with the horrible task of burying the cat. With two children looking on, and making Daddy move the location so that noone could run over Hummer anymore, when the rain started to fall, Ron was placing the final shovel of dirt on the tiny grave. Two small children were heart broken. Ron, usually a rock solid member of the family had to walk away since he was crying so hard. Death is never easy. I know - I've been dealing with it since I was seven. I lost my mother when I was seven. My grandfather when I was nine. My maternal grandmother had a stroke in my arms when I was 16 and died three weeks later. I've been to more funerals than most. Recently to a young niece whose life was cut short tragically too young and a friend who died from a brain tumor. Every death is hard, and every one is missed. But when they are missed by those so young its hard to try and explain the whys.
Christopher is trying so hard to figure out if Hummer is now an angel. And if Christopher himself dies - will he become an angel. And if he's an angel, can he then come back? Such cosmic questions coming from such a tiny little boy who at 5 1/2 is experiencing his first true loss. I'm hoping it will be a long time until he has to go through such a loss again. But for now, we are sad. We will be sad for a while and then we will resume the happiness that Hummer helped to share with our family. A solid memory in our photo album, rest assured Hummer - while you will no longer be sleeping next to us in bed, you will always be with us in our hearts and our memories.